Editor’s Note: This is a month long series following be&behappy Co-Founder Suyogi Gessner as she experiences a pancha karma detox in India. Check back daily for her latest videos and blog posts, and follow her journey on social media with the hashtag #SuyogisDetoxJourney.
When I woke up this morning, I could feel that there was an emotional clearance over night. It’s fascinating how it all works together: the food, the treatments, the oiling and boiling, yoga, pranayama and the inside and outside oleation.
I also get deep massages now that use lots of oil, all to prepare for the big day tomorrow. One thing I noticed is that not so many people undergo the vomiting procedure that I will have tomorrow. One reason could be this: who likes to vomit? No one. And another reason is that people usually feel so much fear related to vomiting. You should see how quickly people’s faces change here when they find out that tomorrow is the big day. Their expression shows two things: “Poor girl, are you sure you will survive this?” or “are you really going to do this?” And the other is fear or disgust. They really feel sorry for me.
When one person gives you these sort of looks, it affects you. But when they all do it, you definitely want to run away. So, I did some deep contemplation about this topic. What’s actually happening in your mind when you go through such a process? Which feelings are coming up? Why do people react so strongly to it? And what can I do now to make it a pleasurable thing? Because one thing is for sure: I am going to go through it like a warrior.
First let’s look at my personal story. I have been suffering from migraines since I was 8 years old. And we’re not talking about a normal migraine; these are super strong ones. I had aura, couldn’t speak for several hours, couldn’t move and I always had to vomit. I sometimes got unconscious out of fear when I had to vomit. and once I even had a near-death experience. I was becoming unconscious and the vomit was stuck. I couldn’t breath and no one was there. So for me it’s definitely a super scary thing to vomit. I would do anything to avoid it, because it is connected with pain, suffering, helplessness—a situation out of control filled with tons of fear.
Our brain is there to make us to survive, and my brain immediately brought up these familiar feelings. My whole body and being wanted to escape and, of course, not have the procedure. But I am here to evolve and release and let go of past experiences and celebrate my success. So when my brain only follows the familiar, it’s up to me to make the familiar unfamiliar and connect it to a great experience. It’s like in a broadway show; you need a new director, new words, new meanings and new colorful scenery.
So this is what I have been doing for since several days. I am telling my mind and brain constantly that I love to vomit and I will feel great, that it’s so much fun to release all the physical toxins like mucous and to get rid of my past fear of migraines.
I know it sounds absurd, but slowly and surely I am reprogramming myself to look forward to
tomorrow. I am imagining how easy and pleasurable it will be to loose all these negative emotions—and all the mucous! My thyroid will feel like a newborn, and I will feel like King Arthur when he finally broke through his fear. My imagination is all related to a positive meaning and outcome, and I can feel how my body is preparing for victory.
It’s me who has decided to go through the whole pancha karma process, and I want to do it. I also do know why I want to do it and the great outcome of this. So my brain and my feelings and my whole billions of beautiful cells are going to be ready tomorrow for the big bang. I am so
excited to see what happens!
Join Suyogi on her journey by reading her daily blog posts, and using the hashtag #SuyogisDetoxJourney on social media.